Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Thursday, November 05, 2009
We should aim to have a nice, sweet life. This life will ultimately be pointless but it is what's best for everyone.
Today I have made the executive decision that we should all aim to lead nice, sweet lives; what i mean by this is the following - life would be better for everyone if we were all nice, would you not agree? Putting in our honest best efforts to be unselfish, giving to charity, smiling at strangers on the street (in a non-creepy/non-pedophiliac/non-psychopathic way), baking cakes for each other... Our lives should be as sweet as the pink, fluffy treat itself, we could all live in cute little cottages in the country and embrace the small things in life. We would have sweet children, and nice husbands, living in nice neighborhoods with good schools and sweet annual fetes and vegetable growing competitions. We could while away our summer days lounging on the local polo lawn sipping Moet, and hosting dinner parties for one another in the winter evenings. Admittedly, some would describe this lifestyle as hiding from the canaille, and so it is... sort of... but what is wrong with that? Would one rather fritter away one's days living minutes outside Hackney with its high percentage of residents fall that into the demographic category "plebeian" and facing a death-defying tube commute every day into the bustling city of sweaty shoppers and japanese tourists? Thought not, the country life is the only life for anyone who has ever tasted freedom. An idillic "twee" life. What more could any country girl wish for?
Nothing. The Candyfloss dream; thats what i live for.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Okay, so today is the "big day"; its the release of my prestigious "BFG" theory. Please take the time to read my theory and let me know what you think.
BFG - Big Fat Ginger Theory
If i was a big fat ginger, and not a slim blonde, my life would be a lot easier. I believe this is so because if i were a big fat ginger, first of all, only the nice guys would see beyond my ugly exterior and want to come within 10 meters of me, thus avoiding me being played off/used/seen as a challenge, by any of the ecocentric, self obsessed men who seem to be the only men interested in me currently. Secondly, being a big fat ginger i would not be tempted to exploit my less pretty friends by "getting off" with guys that they fancy, and who I would otherwise have no interest in, this is both bitchy and regrettable. This would make me a much better friend, happier person and generally make my life a lot easier. Another valid point, is that if i was a big fat ginger, and any ecocentric self obsessed men did happen to accidently sleep with me whilst drunk at a party they would go out of their way NOT to let anyone find out, as opposed to how things are at the moment where it seems they are on a mission to let as many people know as is humanly possible. It is also important to remember that if i was a big fat Iginger, the only thing i would have would be my intelligence and i would therefore study harder, achieve better grades, get a better job etc. etc.
Considering all of the above reasons, i think i would be better off as a big fat ginger.